Some TikTokers who bought Taylor Swift tickets say they have ‘survivor guilt’

Some TikTokers who bought Taylor Swift tickets say they have ‘survivor guilt’

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - DECEMBER 16: Taylor Swift is seen with fans during the world premiere of

In this 2019 photo from New York City, Taylor Swift poses with fans – many of whom have strong feelings about getting tickets to her tour this week, while so many others didn’t. (Photo Credit: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Universal Pictures)

As parents and kids across the country continue to process this week’s Taylor Swift Ticketmaster mishap, which saw potential buyers barred from pre-sales, general sales canceled, resellers charging up to $28,000 per ticket, politicians jumping into the fray, and Swift himself a statement that sparked excitement – some have it harder than others.

And that, surprisingly, includes Swifties Who was successfully purchase tickets.

“Survived the great war, but not without survivor’s fault,” was the text on just one of a spate of TikToks posted by people with tickets saying their joy is dampened by “survivor’s fault” because their friends and other fans got nothing.

“The survivor’s guilt is real,” reads a caption.

“Having the guilt of a survivor for getting good seats on the Epoch Tour,” notes another.

Others simply say “survivor’s fault”.

What’s going on here?

This is a mixture of confusion, big emotions and, in some more recent cases, the not-so-surprising results of an adolescent brain, says adolescent-focused psychologist Barbara Greenberg.

“It’s a misuse of the term,” she tells Yahoo Life of “survivor’s guilt,” noting that it’s not the first example of its kind, as “trauma” is also commonly misused on social media.

“Of course it’s the adolescent brain in action,” she continues, “because something that should only be a secondary emotion — my friend didn’t get a ticket — in the adolescent brain, where they don’t have the kind of emotional control that they do.” hopefully will have when they are older, registers them very intensely.”

Next, “I don’t think kids really know what these phrases mean… and that’s the problem when kids don’t have the right labels, because they cling to whatever label seems appropriate,” she says. “And what it really speaks to is the need to educate children and young people about the correct use of language.” For example, she notes, “They say, ‘I want to kill myself way too often,’ that’s part of the vocabulary, so I say, ‘Do you want to die? Or are you very upset about the situation?’ They go to great lengths to explain their likely intense feelings.”

so what is Blame the survivor?

What it actually means, Greenberg explains, is “when you witnessed other people going through trauma and somehow you were able to escape it, and they weren’t.” And trauma means something serious about life and death. “We’re talking about someone in a car accident and your friend or your mother doesn’t survive, but you do. Or it could be your freshman year and you walk out of a party but your friend stays and is sexually assaulted… Or you survive a mass shooting.”

According to the current version of the psychiatric diagnostic manual, the DSM-5Once a diagnosis in its own right, survivor guilt is now considered a possible symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and typically involves distorted feelings of guilt and negative thoughts about oneself.

“When experiencing a survivor’s guilt after trauma,” notes the resource What’s Your Grief, “it’s common to feel like you’re not worthy of surviving. In addition, when someone feels relief and appreciation for their survival, they often simultaneously feel guilt and shame for having those feelings when others did not survive.”

Medical News Today explains, “Survivors may wonder why they escaped death while others lost their lives. They may also wonder if there was anything they could have done to prevent the traumatic event or to save their life.”

On TikTok, Taylor Swift’s posts have prompted reaction posts calling out on her for abusing “survivor’s guilt.”

“I don’t think that’s okay,” said viral TikTok sensation Chris Olsen. “You can’t compare people who didn’t get tickets to people who did get tickets died.”

Another TikToker said: “There’s no way you’re comparing getting Taylor Swift tickets to being a survivor’s guilt. Am I reading this correctly?”

Of course, what’s very possible is that people in this situation have “normal feelings of guilt,” says Greenberg — something noted by WNYC radio and podcast host Brian Lehrer, who took calls from frustrated parents on his show Friday , one who said her daughter didn’t even want to talk about how lucky she was to get tickets when so many didn’t. “You had a normal ticket-buying experience,” Teacher said, “but your daughter doesn’t want to talk about it because it comes across as glee.”

Why is the right term important at all? For a couple of important reasons, Greenberg explains.

“If you use [survivor’s guilt] Improperly, you minimize other people’s experiences,” she says. “But it could also lead to emotional dysregulation — that is, feelings can spiral and spiral out of control when you put a bigger label on something that you really should.” Then your feelings could catch up and you could have an emotional breakdown.”

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